I’ve had a hard time just reading through this and moving on. I’ve been chewing on it for a week now.  I thought I was just reading through Corinthians but this thing has been so encouraging and convicting!

verse 27 “But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;

Whenever I have read this before I put together that it meant that God takes all of our stupid sins and past (the foolish things) and uses them for His glory.  That makes great sense to me and makes me feel better about my ugly sins!  But in chewing on this this week I realized that it says “the foolish things of the world…”  So thinking about sins we commit it hit me that the world doesn’t think those things are foolish, matter of fact most people who don’t know Jesus would consider those things just facts of life.  This changed the meaning of this verse completely!  What are the foolish things of the world?  What about the things that we struggle the most with when we start truly turning things over to the Lord?  What if the foolishness is things like repentance, forgiveness, and healing!  I started thinking about the things that people who don’t know Jesus say about testimonies they hear from people who have forgiven unfaithful spouses and walked away from major addictions in complete freedom.  When asked how they did this the only response anyone can give is the grace of God!  Thats when the “foolish things of the world put to shame the wise…”  

Even in verse 28 “and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are,”  to keep the same thought that maybe the base (or insignificant/lowly) things and despised things could be actually Gods grace through the power of the cross-forgiveness and healing!  It started to just hit me that so often I almost take some kind of credit because I thought it was how awful my sin was/is that brings glory to the Lord!  When the truth is my sin brings nothing but shame.  Especially when I claim to be a follower of Christ, my daily sin even has the potential to make my Leader look bad!   However when my life brags of the grace of the cross and the freedom I have in being forgiven and walking in the power of forgiveness, and living in the healing promised through His stripes, then and only then is world thrown off by what they see as foolish!  And in the foolishness that they see comes verse 31 “that, as it is written, “He who glories, let him glory in the LORD.”  

I know this wasn’t anything new or profound but to me it was conviction of my pride and revelation of Gods amazing order and grace!

Then I started thinking about Paul and the fact that he was saying this to the church of Corinth who were a mess and were doing so much wrong.  But Paul could see the potential and call on them.  He could see the potential for God to have so much glory through the foolishness!  In a city where I probably would have religiously “dusted off my sandals” and walked away from, Paul could see potential and encourage them to let God reveal Himself to them really through discipline, repentance, and discipleship.  Paul didn’t give up on them when they kept messing up!  He had an amazing heart for discipleship!  Which has convicted me even more, how many times have I given up in my heart on people that God has called to bring His glory through!?

So I finally dove into this whole blog thing and I’m pretty nervous about it!  It hit me even thinking about doing this that I had come up with so many excuses why I can’t do it.  They were all pretty legitimate but none were really totally honest.  The bottom line is that I am scared of the accountability level that this brings!  It totally fit into my prayer time this morning, the Lord was tearing my mindset down about prayer.  I realized that I hold back when it comes to prayer!  And I do it for stupid reasons!  Things like, there is no way I can pray for everyone I am supposed to be praying for.  And what if He wants me to pray for a long time today and I have too much to do!  And the age old excuse of every mother in the world-my kids won’t let me!  I started re-reading things that the Lord had taught me during the first fast that we did and one of the verses that I felt was so powerful for that time I read, Romans 8:26-”Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses.  For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercessions for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.”  Once again I have taken it upon myself to think I have any knowledge when it comes to serving the Lord!  Instead of just being dependent on Him, I take control and think I know what He has for me everyday!  I want to pray the way He has told me to!  I really hate how prideful I am!  I want to hear the groanings of the Holy Spirit everyday!  To hear who and what He is groaning for so that I can join in and see things change for His name sake!  I even fear praying for my kids because I think I’m going to miss something!  It will be my fault if something ever happens to them because I forgot to pray for it!  There is so much relief in just letting God be God instead of me thinking I have Him figured out!  I repent!  I want to change, and I desperately need and want accountability!  So I gave in and started to blog my journal.  It’s scary but I need it!

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